As with all of 2014, the recent holidays were a learning and growing experience for me in the first year after diagnosis. First thing I have to say is that I have an amazing family and I am so grateful for all of them!
We'll divide this into two categories: Holidays at the Office and Holidays with Family.
Holidays at the Office:
Well, this was a very hard time for me. I don't imagine it will be any less awkward in the future, but this first year of experiencing it while gluten free was a big eye-opener and not much fun at all! The company I work for has a Thanksgiving potluck each year. I have always loved this. In 18 years with the company, this is the first year I was unable to participate. I just decided it would be way too much work and the probability of cross-contamination was too great to risk it. So, I brought my own lunch to eat by myself in the break room, away from where the Thanksgiving celebration was being held. Even though many of the people at my office are aware of my health issues and the fact that I have Celiac Disease, it still was confusing to many of my co-workers as to why I wasn't participating. I had to explain several times why I wasn't participating and that, no, there wasn't much I could eat and I'd have to ask people what the ingredients in their dishes were. Don't get me started on the desserts that would make my mouth water and I wouldn't be able to eat. Yes, I could have brought my gluten free meal down and sit with everyone else, but somehow, that thought made it worse. I'd sit there eating my safe meal and watch everyone else eat all of this delicious food that I can't have any more. That just seemed like unnecessary torture to put myself through. So, instead I ate in self-imposed isolation. Not fun, but the lesser of two evils. A side note here - having Celiac Disease can be extremely isolating at times. Especially times like these. The Christmas holiday season hasn't been much better. Vendors send lots of holiday goodies to the buyers at my office each Christmas season, which are shared with all of the office employees. Well, almost all of them. Of course, again, there was very little of these special treats that I could enjoy. Once in awhile someone would come by every cubicle offering a new holiday treat to each employee. Each time I couldn't just politely decline, because the person offering the treat would tease that it wouldn't "ruin your diet" or "just one won't hurt". So, I would have to explain each time why I couldn't eat whatever the treat was. Some of the treats were very hard for me to have laying around the office because they are treats that I love - for example a box of baklava, Christmas cookies and candies. It was so hard to be around all of that and not be able to eat it, but having instead to watch everyone else. Yep, this is my life now. Most of the time I don't feel sorry for myself. There are certain adjustments I simply have to make and I have to keep myself in a particular frame of mind. I have had so many people tell me that they don't know how I do it and that I must have awesome will power to be able to say no to all of these wonderful foods. Many go as far as to add that they, themselves, couldn't do it. I maintain that it has absolutely nothing to do with will power and more to do with self-preservation. I know how my body responds to gluten - it just isn't worth it! Even the Office Christmas Party I had to forego. Well, part of it, anyway. The evening began with everyone getting together at a local restaurant for a light meal and party. The restaurant is not one that offers gluten free options, so my husband (who is not Celiac or gluten free) and I had to decline that part of the party. We were, however, able to participate in the second half, which was a Christmas concert at our local Orpheum Theatre. That was wonderful, but we missed out on the fun everyone else had at the dinner part of the night. Between Thanksgiving and Christmas was our office Secret Santa. For quite a few years I headed this up until a few years ago when I partnered up with another woman at the office. We've had a lot of fun these past few years trying to come up with new ways to make it new and exciting for everyone. The past couple of years we did small treats for the first two out of three weeks with a Christmas decoration as the final, larger gift. This year, I had to offer to continue to help organize and plan, but I asked that we find a different small gift theme to do in place of the treats. I let them know that if we did treats I wouldn't be able to participate due to my dietary restrictions. I hated that as the only G-Free person I was dictating what we do. Thankfully, my co-organizer and our HR lady who helps us, too, agreed and so we were able to come up with some different and fun ideas. I did have to bring my own food to the final luncheon, but that worked out ok. My department lunch was a bit tough on me as we had it at a pizza place that doesn't offer gluten free pizza. I had a salad while everyone else enjoyed the pizza and pasta buffet. But, being gluten free didn't stop me from participating and having fun. I got through it by making jokes and teasing my co-workers that they had to have extra of everything that I couldn't have "for me". LOL. They were actually all pretty great about it. They were compassionate and understanding. Of course, most of them witnessed the more severe of my symptoms of the last three years, so they know how my body reacts to gluten.
Holidays with Family:
My sister-in-law graciously hosts the family get-togethers each holiday mostly because she has the largest house to be able to hold us all, but also because I know she enjoys having her family there. No one in my husband's family has Celiac Disease or is gluten free. I'm the only person who has to be on this specific special diet. Rather than put extra work on my sister-in-law, who had enough on her plate as it was, I prepared my own gluten free meal at my house and packed a plate of it to take with me to her house. This wasn't a big deal, considering we live about a half a mile away from them. The food was still warm when we got there. I also made a homemade, gluten free strawberry cheesecake for everyone. Instead of using refined sugar, I used organic coconut palm sugar with vanilla. It made the cheesecake a brownish color, but it tasted wonderful! I also used organic, pure almond extract instead of the pure vanilla extract. YUM! Okay, I'm getting distracted here. LOL It was actually pretty awesome to be able to eat my own gluten free Thanksgiving meal while sharing and celebrating with my family. It made me feel normal and not like a freak! Christmas was similar. After Christmas Eve services, we all met up at my sister-in-law's for food and gift exchange. That was a lot of fun! I did bring my own gluten free sandwich and munchies because the food they were serving wasn't gluten free, but most of the meal on Christmas Day was gluten free, so I was actually able to eat a lot of what everyone else was that day. Truthfully, the holidays with family really felt normal and not like I was separate from everyone else just because I couldn't eat everything that they could. My having Celiac and being gluten free was almost a non-issue, which I loved! That's not to say that people weren't sensitive or aware for me, they most definitely were. It is just to say that, unlike work where being gluten free separates me much of the time and prevents me from participating in certain activities, with family I was able to just be Margo. Not Margo with Celiac Disease, which, of course, I am, but it didn't prevent me from any part of celebrating with my family. Before Thanksgiving I'd been nervous about how the holidays would go. My family took all of that apprehension away. In short - I LOVED the holidays with my family!!!! I couldn't have felt more normal or at home than I did. For that I am so grateful! If I was a part of a less understanding and compassionate family, I wouldn't have had that. I am truly blessed to have the family I do!
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