Review: The Year 2019

This was originally intended to be a product review.  However, as this is my last blog post of this year and it is already late due to illness, I've decided to make it a review of  my year in 2019.

On many counts, not just my own, 2019 has been a very rough year and one that I'm not sorry to see go.  But it hasn't all been bad, either.  it has been a year of many changes and much growth.

We began 2019 much the way we always do, my hubby and me at home with our two fur-babies.  I honestly couldn't tell you the last time we were actually out for New Year's.  It's a struggle just being able to stay awake until midnight, the older we get.  I think last New Year's we made it up to see the ball drop in Times Square in New York on the tv and counted that, even though we had an hour to go here in Iowa.

My father-in-law, Pete, celebrates his 90th with all original parts!

March was a month of celebrations.  We celebrated my father-in-law's 90th birthday with a party after church the Sunday before his big day.  It was wonderful how many friends and family, including some from farther away, were able to make the trip to celebrate this wonderful man with us.  We also held a small get-together at the nursing home for my grandma's 97th birthday that month.  Many local family members were able to attend and though G'ma had dementia, it was a great day.  She knew everyone (well, almost - she struggled for a moment with my husband, but then told him that he reminded her a lot of her granddaughter's husband), she had a sparkle in her eyes and had an unusually wonderful day.  She was lucid and knew we were there to celebrate her, though she couldn't believe she was actually 97 years old!

My G'ma celebrating her 97th!

Then we went through the next several months struggling with shock, betrayal and pain as my father-in-law's wife (not my husband's mom - she passed away in 1994) of 23 years left him and filed for divorce, spreading horrible rumors and lies about him and about our family.  We stood helplessly by as his health began a rapid decline in the wake of being abandoned.  We all did what we could to be there for him and to help as much as possible, but the shock and sadness he experienced at going through a divorce at 90 years old took its toll.  And, all the while, he never had one mean or cross word to say about the woman who'd abandoned him.  These months were filled with much stress, anxiety and sadness for all of us as we tried to help him adjust.  

G'ma meeting her newest great-grandson.

Early in the morning on August 3rd, my mom received the call from the nursing home that my beautiful G'ma had died peacefully in her sleep.  Our time the next week was spent taking care of funeral arrangements and keeping in touch with my mom's siblings who were both traveling from far away to be here.  Just five days after my G'ma's funeral, my father-in-law ended up back in the hospital (he'd been hospitalized for several weeks soon after his wife left him).  We actually thought we were going to lose him that night, though, thankfully, we didn't.  Over the next few weeks, more arrangements were made and he got to see all of his children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren, as well as his only remaining sister and her family.  On Sept. 2nd, along with my husband, his sister and her husband, we had the sad privilege of being with this wonderful man as he breathed his last.

l to r: Cary, Pete, Deb & Dave (my father-in-law and his kids)

So much of this year has been about stress, anxiety and mourning.  But at the same time, I've done a lot of healing and growing.  I've realized that I have actually finally come to terms with the limitations that my health issues put on me.  I still don't like them, but I've finally accepted that this is just part of my life and it doesn't have to be the end of that life.  During all of those months with what we were going through with my father-in-law, I had also been struggling with my own personal anxieties, depression, feelings of worthlessness.  Feelings that I thought I had long ago put behind me, but they have really been pulling me down over the past two years.  Thanks to some amazing and supportive friends, I've learned much about self-care over the past year and that taking time to take care of yourself isn't selfish, but necessary to living a healthier life, mentally and physically.  Thanks to time with my church family, I have grown by changing my focus from my weaknesses and inadequacies to believing in myself and being able to step out of my comfort zone and be there for others in a way I haven't felt like I could in a very long time. 

I have spent since Christmas Day sick with a terrible head cold.  Of course, since I have Celiac Disease and hypothyroidism, it takes so much longer to get over the simplest illness and it takes so much out of me.  My husband has also not been well over this past week.  We are actually taking some personal time off this week, intending to do some down-sizing and de-cluttering around home.  Nothing like illness to halt your plans, right?!  Though last week I was able to do a lot with working as a techie to prepare for and during our Christmas Eve service for church.  I love being so active with my church family, but doing so wore me out!  I'm so glad I got to participate, though!  It makes me feel alive to be able to serve.

This morning I had a dream right before I woke up.  It felt very real.  I was with my mom and we were walking through my grandparents' house.  I think part of what prompted this dream was that my husband and I, along with his sister and her husband recently finished cleaning out my father-in-law's house, the sale of which will be final this week.  The last day we were over there finishing up, as we left, my husband said to me, "This is probably the last time I'll ever be in my dad's house."  So, in my dream, my mom and I were in my grandparents' house - G'ma sold it over 15 years ago, yet I can picture clearly every nook and cranny of the home they'd lived in since before I was born.  In my dream, we walked through each empty room.  As I stepped into each room in turn, though it was completely emptied of all signs of the lives that had been lived there, I could picture each room when it was filled with furniture, plants, family and love.  When I awoke and realized that I fully remembered my dream - not something that happens often with me - it gave me pause.  The first feeling was sadness and the next was realization that I was saying good-bye.  This dream to me, wasn't just me saying good-bye to my grandma, my childhood.  It was saying good-bye to yesterday.  All the yesterdays.  How fitting that I had this dream on the last day of 2019.  While we hold our memories as treasures in our hearts, they are now past and whether the memory and experiences were good or bad, we move forward.  Hopefully, we move forward with more wisdom, courage, determination and focus because of what we have lived through, but we move forward nonetheless.

I know this post has not been a very uplifting one, but if you made it all the way through to the end, I hope that you are able to see what my message is.  I've said so many times this year how I am so over it and ready to move on.  We don't know if tomorrow will bring joy or sorrow, success or hardship, but we do know that whatever it brings, tomorrow is a new day.  Tomorrow is another chance.  Tomorrow offers us opportunities we may have missed today or yesterday.  We can't change what happened yesterday, but we can learn from it, grow from it and move on from it.  After all, tomorrow is another day.

May your 2020 be full of happiness, love and restoration and may you find the strength to face whatever may come your way.

Recipe: Gluten Free Homemade Hot Cocoa Mix

I don't know where you live, but here in Iowa, winters get  very long and frigid.  Who doesn't love a hot, steaming cup of rich, chocolaty hot cocoa to make you feel warm and cozy on a cold, snowy night?  I have many fond memories of making homemade hot cocoa mix with my mom when I was growing up and it was so delicious!  I haven't made any for decades, so I decided that this was the year I was going to do it.  And it was well worth it!

Ingredients:

1 pound non-fat, dry milk

2 cups cocoa powder (I used unsweetened cocoa powder)

1 1/2 cups powdered coffee creamer

2 cups powdered sugar

Stir all ingredients together until well-blended and then pour into glass storage jars or a gallon Ziploc bag.  To use, place 1/3 cup of the mixture into your cup, add hot water and stir.  Mixture may be kept in a freezer bag in the freezer - as if you'll have it around long enough for that.  This recipe is so simple and tasty.  It is a wonderful flavor you won't be able to resist.  I add a peppermint stick or top with whipped cream and cinnamon.

You can double this recipe to split out and give as gifts to family and friends.

Wishing you and yours a very Merry Christmas from Siouxland Celiac!

Gluten in Medication Disclosure

If you have Celiac Disease or are gluten free for other health reasons you know that you have to be on the lookout for gluten not only in your food and beverages, but also in beauty products, household cleansers and even in our medications.

Like many other Celiacs, I also have hypothyroidism.  I was actually diagnosed with my thyroid condition decades before I found out about my Celiac Disease, which I believe I've actually had longer.  I just recently read a conversation thread on a Celiac page I follow on Facebook where several people who also have hypothyroidism were comparing problems they've had with various thyroid medications such as Synthroid and Levothyroxine.  I have been on both of these medications at one time or another, beginning with Synthroid and then the pharmacist switched me to Levothyroxine several years later, well before I was diagnosed with Celiac.  Most recently the pharmacy switched me from the Levothyroxine to Euthyrox, which I'd never heard of.  They didn't tell me when I picked up my refill that they had switched my medication and I didn't look at it until I got home from the store.  My first thought was panic that I had a new medication that I knew nothing about.  I was not happy with that at all, as the pharmacy I use has on record that I have Celiac Disease and didn't say a thing about the new medication.  

The sad truth is that, like too many doctors, pharmacists know very little about Celiac Disease since there is no medical or pharmaceutical treatment available for this disease.  However, I would have thought that since I have to be gluten free, they would have mentioned it when I went in to pick up my refill that I thought was Levothyroxine.  Before I ever took my first dose, I went online to research this product.  Unfortunately, I was unable to even locate any ingredients for this product, though I went directly to the company's webpage https://www.provellpharma.com/  This is very frustrating for me as I NEED to take my thyroid medication daily and suffer when I don't, but I also NEED to be confident that it is gluten free.  After thoroughly searching online to get information about this medication, I finally decided to contact the company this weekend to ask them outright.  I'll let you know what their response is once I hear back from them.  At this time I haven't had any adverse reactions, however, it does make me nervous for prolonged use of a medication that I don't know if it is safe or not.  I asked at the pharmacy to switch me back to the Levothyroxine (by the way, the only brand of Levothyroxine that is gluten free is Lannet brand).  They said that they don't have a good reason to unless I begin to have adverse reactions or my doctor insists that I have to have a specific medication.  They, also, couldn't tell me if the new medication is gluten free or not.  They didn't know.  They were very polite and courteous, but, unfortunately, that doesn't help me with knowing if this medication is safe for me to use.

Earlier this year, legislation was introduced by Representative Tim Ryan on the floor of Congress called the Gluten in Medicine Disclosure Act of 2019.  Unfortunately, no summary of this bill has been posted yet.  Our government moves very slowly.  This piece of legislation was introduced in April, 2019 and they still haven't posted a summary of it.  When they do, you'll be able to read it here.  There is other information available about this proposed legislation, though, that is worth reading.

This is such an important piece of legislation, that, if passed, would hugely impact everyone on any kind of medication who is gluten free for health reasons!

To learn more about this and how you can let your voice be heard regarding this vital matter to our community, visit Beyond Celiac.  Their website is where I first learned of this legislation.  This is your chance to make your voice heard!  As more is released about this proposed legislation I will keep you posted with updates.  

Until this is passed (I'm being optimistic and hopeful here that it WILL pass) we still have to do the research ourselves and hope for the best.  We are our own best advocates and we have to keep fighting together to get what we need in order to take care of our health and well-being.

12/16/19 Update:
I received a call back this morning from Provell Pharmaceuticals.  I was impressed that not only did they get back to me so quickly, but also that they made a phone call instead of just sending an emailed reply.  The representative was very helpful and was able to inform me that Euthyrox is, in fact, gluten free.  This is a huge relief to me and I greatly appreciate the prompt attention and the importance they placed on getting me this information. 

Happy Gluten Free Holidays!

I know it is hard sometimes not to get discouraged and feel isolated when you are living with Celiac Disease or other chronic health issues.  I'm not going to say that it's a walk in the park, because it most certainly is not!  Holidays aren't just for healthy people, you know.  Even we can enjoy the holidays.    

I've had more people than I care to count tell me that they'd "just die" if they had to be gluten free, especially during the holidays.  Ha!  I nearly died BECAUSE of gluten!  I know that people who say things like that think that they are being sympathetic, but it is one of the things I hate to hear the most.  I want to shake them and tell them that you can adjust to absolutely anything that will make you healthier and help you live a better quality life.  My quality of life isn't less than, but it's just different than theirs.  

At this time of the year, people concentrate so much on all of the goodies that abound during the holidays.  Where I work, we get many cookie trays and tins of candy, etc from various vendors, the majority of which I can't have.  In the beginning, when I was first gluten free, it really bothered me a lot that I couldn't partake in these sugary treats.  Nearly 6 years later, it doesn't affect me all that much.  While I still sometimes feel isolated because of my dietary and health limitations, I mostly choose to concentrate on other aspects of the holidays that I can still participate in.

Things such as Secret Santa at work.  I've been on the committee for Secret Santa for many years and always have so much fun with it!  Decorating the house, spending extra time with family, listening to Christmas music.  There are so many wonderful things to enjoy at this time of the year!  My husband and I get to spend time with two of our great-nieces during the holidays.  We wish we could spend time with all of our nieces, nephews and great-nieces and great-nephews, but it just isn't possible.  I have my church family that I am very active with and right now we are preparing for our Christmas Eve service just a few weeks away.  Driving around town and looking at the pretty Christmas lights strung on houses and trees is a great way to spend an evening.

This holiday season try to focus on the non-food festivities.  And, by the way, there are a lot of great gluten free recipes out there to try out, too!  When you make those yummy gluten free sugar cookies, don't forget to bake enough to share with others!  I love being able to share my gluten free treats with people who assume that everything gluten free equals tasting like cardboard.  Aren't they surprised when they find out how good gluten free done right can be!