This week my mind has been with my grandma. She is a feisty 92, nearly 93 year old woman who has lived through more than you and I can imagine in her almost a century of life. The stories she has - I've been hearing them my whole life. I think, actually, that she is a big part of the reason that history fascinates me. Because she lived so much of it and has told me firsthand accounts of things that she has witnessed or experienced.
G'ma lived on her own until just this past Fall, when we moved her into an assisted living facility not far from where we live. That's pretty amazing when you think of it - to still be living on your own when you are 92 years old! Not long after moving into the assisted living facility we got news that her sister-in-law, my G'pa's "baby" sister had passed away. Aunt Lorene was about 10 years younger than my G'ma. G'ma's outlook kind of took a downward dip after Aunt Lorene's death. She's so sad that she's still here while so many dear family members and friends who've been such an important part of her life for so long have passed away. I think she's tired of being the one left to say good-bye to all of the rest. In this past year, she also learned that her only surviving sibling, my Aunt Jean is in early stages of Alzheimer's. This has not only been a tough year for me going through all of the major life changes that my Celiac diagnosis has brought about, but it has been a really tough year for my G'ma as she's gone through such severe life changes herself.
This past Monday G'ma ended up going to the ER due to suspected tia (mini-stroke). She's had a few of these over the past several years, none of which have greatly affected her, though I do believe each one has chipped a little away at her short term memory (she does not have Alzheimer's, but she does have a hard time remembering new things, dates of events and she gets confused now and then - partly due to her hearing loss and partly just because of normal old age issues). While at the ER (my mom took her there and was with her the entire time), G'ma mentioned that she had a sore throat. All of her tests came back fine, but since she had a sore throat the doc decided to do a throat culture to be sure she didn't have strep. While they were waiting for the results of that test, G'ma complained of a heaviness in her arms. She didn't feel right. I was on the phone with my mom at this time and she and I decided that the doctor needed to know about this immediately. They admitted G'ma to the hospital and we later learned from her new test results that she did, in fact, have a small stroke (more than a tia). She has been in the hospital since then.
This dear lady doesn't understand why she's still here. Don't get me wrong, she doesn't have a death wish, but when you get to a certain age and have buried so many people you love it has to wear on you. We've really witnessed her go downhill so quickly in the past few months. We were hopeful that she might be able to live in assisted living for a couple of years, but that is not to be. When she is discharged from the hospital she will be moved immediately into the nursing home. Thankfully, the nursing home is in the same building as the assisted living where she's been. The staff on both sides have been simply amazing and so loving toward not only G'ma, but our whole family. They have bent over backward to make her comfortable and get her involved and, frankly, in order to help her stay in assisted living, they have gone over and above what they should to help her to stay there. We've got nothing but good to say about the amazing staff there! I know they are just about as sad at the progression as we are.
And, yet, even with everything that my G'ma has been through this year, she has been so concerned with me and my health issues. She's asked questions about my Celiac and what it means for me and has shown concern over what I can or cannot eat. That's been pretty humbling for me. At this time, she is still with us and is going back and forth between feisty and sad to still be here. I think there are many emotions warring inside of her. Yesterday she got a very special visit from her sister, who's daughter brought her. That closed out the year on a lovely note and I think that is the note that I will close this post on.
Whatever is happening in your life, embrace the ones you love, find strength and hope in them and keep going. The struggles can be almost unbearable at times, but we don't have to go through them alone. Happy New Year and may God richly bless you and yours in the coming year!
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